Big Men Shooting Threes Rank
By Ian Levy
For the last few years, ESPN has released NBA Rank, a series in which they rank every single NBA player a few days before the season begins. They just dropped the first wave of this year’s edition so go check it out if you haven’t. It’s a cool project and a good way to get a sense of where players stand in relation to each other as a new season gets underway.
Now, comparing players to each other is all fun and good but do you know what is more fun and more good? Three-pointers—especially when they’re being shot by big men who don’t often operate behind the arc. Which is why today I bring to you the most important and necessary work: Big Men Shooting Threes Rank. I asked the rest of the HP Basketball Network crew to help me out with this but those nerds didn’t even respond so we’re flying solo here.
Let’s get into it.
1. Big Al Jefferson
Aw, poor Big Al, he can’t even celebrate his dope shot because Charlotte still lost.
2. Roy Hibbert
¯_(ツ)_/¯
3. Marc Gasol
Wow, look at Marc out there stunting with the bomb from beyond half court. Very dope shot. A top-notch reaction face like we got from Big Al would have given Marc a higher ranking, to be honest.
4. Marcin Gortat
Hustle. Loyalty. Respect.
5. Gorgui Dieng
You ever notice how a lot of big men hit threes that don’t matter at the end of games? Like, what’s up with that? It’s enough to make a guy fly private. (Now that’s a deep cut reference.)
6. Quincy Acy
Ah finally, a big man hitting a three that matters. Look at big Q hitting the buzzer beater. (Solid bonus footage of Boogie Cousins going nuts.
7. Dwight Howard
Not even Dwight’s teammates could believe he hit that three ball from the corner. Look at them all celebrating in bewilderment.
8. Nene
See number five.
9. Anthony Davis
Look man, if Anthony Davis starts knocking down threes on a consistent basis then I think we should all just pack it up and go home because it would be impossible to stop him.
10. Timofey Mozgov
Okay let’s be honest, I just threw Mozgov onto this list because I wanted to have 10 people. This is just a regular three-pointer.