Emergency Kyle Korver Workout RTOE

So the other day, a fire piece by Charles Bethea dropped in Outside Magazine detailing Kyle Korver’s absurd offseason workout, called a misogi. It starts like this.

"“Pass the rock,” says Kyle Korver.The six-foot-seven Atlanta Hawks guard is arguably the best shooter in the NBA, so this should be funny, given the circumstances. See, we’re not on a basketball court. We’re not even on land. On a sunny California afternoon in June, in a pristine harbor along the coast of Santa Cruz Island, 30 miles south of Santa Barbara by boat, we’ve been taking turns lumbering along the shallow seafloor for the past three hours lugging an 85.2-pound stone that Korver procured from a nearby beach. It feels a little lighter in the ocean, thanks to the relative density of water, but it’s still a heavy-ass rock."

The whole piece is definitely worth your time, but basically the premise of the misogi was to dive down a few feet underwater, pick up this huge rock, and carry it as far as you can. When you feel like you can’t breath anymore, you surface, and the next person takes a turn carrying the rock as far as they can take it. And so on, and so on. Well we all read the piece, and decided we needed to have an emergency Kyle Korver workout RTOE, so here goes.

Would you even get in the water?

Jack (@jackhaveitall): Probably not, no.

Chris (@ChrisBarnewall): Yes. I live in Florida, sharks are nothing. I’m more likely to get struck by lightning.

Zach (@ZachOliverNBA): Yeah, I probably would. It’s water, I can swim, it wouldn’t be too bad.

Eric (@EricBuenning): Yes. I like water. I would first do a quick sweep for sharks. You know, the usual stuff.

Regardless of your answer to the previous question, you are now in the water. Do you think you could even lift the 85.2 pound stone?

Jack: I think yes, I could pick up the rock, but I don’t know how far I could actually carry it.

Chris: At first I want to say I can pick it up but considering I’m wearing a weight belt and I’m free diving etc I’m not sure I’d have the energy, even if I can pick it up, to carry it far.

Zach: I would think I could, and I’d try to, and fail miserably and it would be hilarious for everyone involved, except for myself.

Eric: I could probably pick it up. Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t have much experience with 80+ lb. rocks.

What would you be most afraid of: sharks? Drowning? Dropping the stone on your foot and crushing it? Something else?

Jack: Definitely sharks.

Chris: Drowning and dropping the stone on my foot. I already have asthma on land, I doubt I have a great lung capacity under water.

Zach: Yes. I’d be terrified of all of the above. If I had to pick which worried me the most, though, I’d prolly agree with Chris (something’s wrong with me, clearly) and say dropping it on my foot and/or drowning.

Eric: If I have to chose one, it would be sharks. But let’s be real: I’m afraid of everything, so I’ll go with all of the above.

Say you are going to do this challenge, and it is going to be you, and four NBA players. Who do you take along? 

Dec 7, 2014; Atlanta, GA, USA; Atlanta Hawks guard Kyle Korver (26) shoots the ball against the Denver Nuggets in the third quarter at Philips Arena. Mandatory Credit: Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports

Jack: Well I have to take Korver, obviously. And Kawhi Leonard expressed interest in doing a misogi so I’ll take him as well. Tim Duncan used to be an elite swimmer, so I’ll add him to the squad. And then with my last pick I’ll take Kobe, because Kobe would never quit on this, or allow the rest of us to quit on it.

Chris: Korver so he can give me some pointers on how to do it. Nick Young for the sake of having someone fun around. Tobias Harris so he can tell me about fishing. JJ Redick cause he’s a foodie and would probably bring some kick ass beer.

Zach: I think Korver is an obvious choice, so, I’ll take him as one. Tobias Harris, who is in ridiculous shape and would probably do something like that. Kevin Garnett, because we need someone to give us a kick in the ass when we want to stop. Tony Allen, because this would be a grind, and you can’t grind without the Grindfather.

Eric: I’d take Korver so that someone would remember to bring the rock. Then I’d bring Giannis, because why the hell wouldn’t I bring him? I’d bring LeBron to be the leader of the group and round it out with James Harden, because I definitely want to see how his beard reacts to salt water.

In one word, summarize the rock-carrying misogi Korver completed:

Jack: Absurd.

Chris: Insane.

Zach: Ridiculous.

Eric: H*** {Ed. Watch your language, Eric. This is a friendly site.}