#NBAVineRank: 30-26: Poor, poor Nets

Earlier today we introduced our new project, #NBAVineRank. Now we begin the process of releasing our rankings, starting with the bottom five squads. Let’s get into it. 

30 Brooklyn Nets (1.75)

28 Philadelphia 76ers (3.75)

28 Boston Celtics (3.75)

27 Charlotte Hornets (3.8125)

26 Portland Trail Blazers (4.0625)

So… the Nets. Who even plays for the Nets anymore? Did anything that happened in a Nets game even get Vined last year?

Jack (@jackhaveitall): Pretty sure one time I saw a Vine of Markel Brown doing a 360 but that might have just been from a video game?

Eric (@ericbuenning): The only Nets Vines I remember last year were Brandon Knight missing a breakaway layup and Jason Kidd shouting “we know you’re going to Joe!” before the final shot. So that’s not a good look.

Chris (@ChrisBarnewall): The Nets were…..well….they were a basketball team that nobody liked watching. Outside of Markel Brown doing a dunk there wasn’t much worth talking about with them. I guess Joe Johnson had a game winner somewhere in there.

Donnie (@donniebuckets): Brook Lopez at Comic Con is more vineable than most Nets games.

Taylor (@TaylorBojangles): I feel like I have a soft spot for the Nets, for some reason. Maybe it’s the uniforms? I have no idea what it is. Maybe having both Lopezes in the same city will make at least 4 Nets games semi-watchable?

Wes (@wcgoldberg): Shabazz Napier crossed up Deron Williams and Kevin Garnett, that happened during a Nets game last year.

Zach (@ZachOliverNBA): The Nets play shooty hoops, that about all I’ve got on them. Though, Markel Brown is a ball of fun waiting to happen.

Matt (@Matt_Cianfrone): The best thing that happens during Nets games is when they let Mike Fratello draw on the telestrator which is great but also tells you a lot about the Nets.

Are there any surprises in this bottom five? Any teams you feel don’t belong here?

Jack: The Hornets! Kemba Walker had arguably the best Vine of the season last year with his block on Pablo Prigioni. Walker by himself is more Vineable than the Pacers. Where are the Pacers anyway? This is absurd. Who did this fam???? Also surprised the Celtics are this low. They should be a pretty fun group.

Eric: I have no idea what Portland is going to be, so I imagine that will produce Dame going crazy and other random Vines that we may not expect. They may be a little low. Also, I know Philly is bad, but the Sixers Twitter account always seems able to crank out great Vines. So shoutout to them, but they just aren’t good enough to be higher. This is what you get, Hinkie.

Chris: Why are the Hornets this low!? Yes, their offense is a horrid train wreck of a basketball team that makes them almost impossible watch. That said, they have SO MANY fun highlights! Kemba Walker was one of the most Vineable players in the NBA last season. Sure, they lost Bismack Biyombo’s blocks and dunks, but now they have Frank Kaminsky and his goofy tall white guy dances. On top of of all that, they have a defense good enough to keep them in a bunch of games which gets them involved in a ton of game winners. The Hornets should not be this low.

Donnie: These teams were five of my bottom eight, so no big surprises here. Boston does have Isaiah Thomas on offense, Marcus Smart on defense, and Evan Turner brain cramps, which are all very Vineable.

Taylor: I’m with Jack wondering how the Pacers escaped the bottom five. I also think Portland may actually turn out somewhat Vineable with all the young athletic guys they have now. They’ll be a garbage team, for sure, but I can see some nifty dunks coming from them, at least.

Wes: Yeah, Portland took a step back, but that means Damian Lillard Hero Ball! That’s SO Vineable! The Thunder weren’t winning much when Westbrook was one manning it, but it was definitely entertaining. This will be like Russ Lite.

Zach: Probably the Hornets. Kemba is still fun, and MKG can do some ridiculous things. Add in Batum, and an improving Cody Zeller and they should make some nice highlights this season. Portland could as well, especially with all the young athleticism they’ve added, but man, they’re going to be young.

Matt: I agree with the argument that I forget who started in one of our email chains that Philly is too low. They are going to produce highlights just because of the pace they play at and the athletes they have. I don’t agree with everyone naming the Hornets here because I generally hate watching them play outside of MKG.

Who is the most Vineable player from these five teams?

Jack: Hmm, I think it’s Kemba. He’s not super consistent, but he will come through with some of the best Vines of the season, no doubt about it.

Eric: Probably Lillard for me. I like Kemba, but 4-5 game winners and a few crossovers en route to a 36-win season is starting to feel more sad than exciting.

Chris: It’s Kemba Walker in a landslide. His overall game may be up for debate a lot of the time, but do not overlook that he may have the nastiest crossover in the NBA.

Donnie:  With all the Kemba love, I’ll go in a different direction and say Damian Lillard. I love crunchtime vine shots and reactions, and Dame has a knack for big shots. He’s going to have even less of a conscious this year, and that should lead to more ridiculous shot-making.

Taylor: I was thinking Lillard, too. With no LMA this year we could seriously see a Westbrookian usage rate out of that guy. I also think MKG is a vineability sleeper.

Wes: Lillard is the new alpha dog on a team that will be built around him. I see him taking a big step forward in leading the Trail Blazers to wins, and we will get some sickkk plays along the way.

Zach: Kemba or Dame are probably the most out of this group. Both are going to do some ridiculous things this year with a lot of pressure on both of their shoulders. My dark horse in this group, though, would be Nerlens Noel. He can get in on both ends of the floor, so, he could be real fun next year.

Matt: I actually am going to go out of the box and take Zach’s darkhorse. Noel is a monster on defense and I feel like it gets forgotten how much we vine’d his blocks last year. Add in more experience on offense and guards that maybe can get him the ball and I think we see more dunks this year too. Lillard is second for me though and it is close. I just think that some of the game winning or sealing moments we have vined of him in the past won’t be there because the Blazers aren’t as good.