Friendly Bounce RTOE: NBA Snowpocalypse edition

December 25, 2015; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Los Angeles Clippers guard Chris Paul (3) controls the ball against Los Angeles Lakers during the second half of an NBA basketball game on Christmas at Staples Center. Mandatory Credit: Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports /

1. You are in a snowball fight and have three current NBA players as teammates. Who are they and why?

Chris Barnewall (@ChrisBarnewall) – Giannis Antetokounmpo for his super long arms, Isaiah Thomas for quickness, and Chris Paul to terrify everybody on the other team. Also Paul might use rocks/ice in his snowballs and it’s all about winning.

Donnie Kolakowski (@Donniebuckets) – Kevin Love’s outlet passes show his incredible strength, so he can probably throw a mean snowball. Boban Marjanovic can build the biggest snowballs, so I’ll select him as well. And I’ll take Chris Paul, too, but mostly because he’d make everyone on the other team so mad at him they’d all throw their snowballs at him and not me.

Ryne Prinz (@ryneprinz) – I’d pick LeBron James because he can throw accurately with both arms, Rudy Gobert for his ability to prevent snowballs from hitting me and Nikola Mirotic because he’d keep me warm inside of his beard.

Taylor Smith (@TaylorBojangles) – Wesley Matthews because I’d imagine he’s pretty accurate with that fake bow and arrow of his. No reason he can’t use it for snowballing. I’d take Jamal Crawford because he surely gets good arch on his tosses. And I’d wrap things up with James Johnson, because nobody’s messing with James Johnson.

Ian Levy (@HickoryHigh) – Stephen Curry, Klay Thompson, Draymond Green. Curry and Thompson would just be lobbing super-accurate rainbows over the walls of the other dude’s snow fort. Green would just be kneeling on the ground packing together as many snowballs as possible and loading them up for Steph and Klay.

Matt Cianfrone (@Matt_Cianfrone): Russell Westbrook, Nikola Pekovic and David West. I don’t care what kind of fight I am in, if I show up with those three guys no one is messing with me at all.

Jan 24, 2016; Philadelphia, PA, USA; General view of the Wells Fargo Center behind snow mounds in the parking lot prior to a game between the Philadelphia 76ers and the Boston Celtics. Mandatory Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports /

2. Best NBA related person to get snowed in with?

Barnewall – Boris Diaw would have a very good enjoyment of food and wine so I’d get along great with him. He’s also very relaxed.

Kolakowski – Jimmy Butler and I would have a blast listening to Taylor Swift together, so I’ll go with him. I’d like to know if he prefers Red or Speak Now.

Prinz – I would hang out with Robin Lopez. Between playing video games and watching the Simpsons, I can’t imagine it getting any better.

Smith – DeAndre Jordan is pretty used to being confined to his home, so I guess I’d go with him.

Levy– Gregg Popovich. Since this is all hypothetical, I’m choosing to get snowed in with him inside his wine cellar, immediately after we’ve made a trip to Whole Foods and the public library. Good food, good wine, good books, good snark. It would be perfect.

Cianfrone: Bill Walton. There would be stories for days to keep me entertained.

Nov 8, 2014; Miami, FL, USA; Minnesota Timberwolves center Nikola Pekovic (14) warms up before a game against the Miami Heat at American Airlines Arena. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports /

3. Which current NBA player would be the most helpful in shoveling out a buried car?

Barnewall – Nikola Pekovic would be able to move snow with just his arms alone. A shovel will be no problem for him.

Kolakowski – Russell Westbrook could probably just stare at the snow until it cowered away from the car in fear, and, if that didn’t work, he’d have the thing shoveled out in two minutes anyway with his speed and strength.

Prinz – Quincy Acy would have absolutely no trouble shoveling snow. His big ol’ beard would keep him warm, and he’s a notorious scrapper, so he wouldn’t give up.

Smith – Brook Lopez has a lightsaber, so he can probably just melt the snow that way.

Levy – Is Reggie Evans still sitting on the end of an NBA roster?

Cianfrone: Boban Marjanovic. His hands are like Bobcats. It wouldn’t take long for him to clear out anything.

Jan 23, 2016; Portland, OR, USA; Los Angeles Lakers forward Kobe Bryant (24) looks on during the national anthem prior to the game against the Portland Trail Blazers at the Moda Center. Mandatory Credit: Craig Mitchelldyer-USA TODAY Sports /

4. Kobe got named an All-Star starter in the past week. What do you hope to see from him in the game?

Barnewall – I just want a celebration of Kobe in the game. Take a few shots. Play a little defense. Just have fun and celebrate one of the greatest to play the game..

Kolakowski – One vintage Kobe fadeaway is good enough for me. And a dunk would be awesome as well.

Prinz – … Is it too much to ask for a Kobe game-winner?

Smith – I’m not wishing ill on Kobe here, but I kinda want to see him get crossed-up at some point. But only for the Crying Jordan memes. He’s always wanted to be like Mike, ya know.

Levy – I don’t usually watch the All-Star Game. There’s a big episode of Madam Secretary that week, so I’ll probably just check out the highlights the next day.

Cianfrone: Kobe blocking LeBron James in the 2013 All-Star Game is one of my favorite blogging related moments ever thanks to reactions I saw. I want that again so badly.

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