D’Angelo Russell shows himself some love

You know who loves D’Angelo Russell? D’Angelo Russell. (Pictured Above: “I love you thiiiiiis much.”) And it’s important to show the ones you care about some affection every now and then. You know, get a handful of dandelions, maybe some dollar store champagne, a small Snickers bar from the gas station, perhaps dress up in your nicest sleeveless yellow shirt, and then walk out onto a basketball court with love in your heart. So what do you do next?

Make your hands touch while other people walk away from you. I think technically everyone’s married now.

The self high-five has its roots in Siberia where people would routinely smack their palms together to remind themselves that their hands were still capable of feeling. This spread to the Eastern Bloc after World War II as a sign of loyalty to the motherland. Over the next few decades, meanings would shift from communist compassion to stating affection regardless of political leanings to “look at this cool noise I can make with my hands, mom.”

Many people thought the self high-five reached its pinnacle with Diamond Dallas Page’s WCW entrance to a knockoff Nirvana track. And they were right, but then D’Angelo Russell wanted to cash in on the cultural cache of DDP and billionaire Ted. It’s hard to say whether we’re moving forward or backward here.

So why not both? Here’s a GIF of D’Angelo Russell inserted into DDP’s Titantron.

I think the lesson here is that it’s important to care about yourself. You can only depend on you, after all. Just you. You’re alone in this world. So, so alone.

Have a great day!